Johnny is at The Bar

How did you know? I asked, not sure I wanted the answer. I thought I had been careful. I thought she would simply not notice. I mean, we have been walking to school together for over a year now and she never seem to pay attention to me or what I wear for that matter.

You are walking kinda funny today She said with a timid smile, dreamy eyes and lost in thought. All I thought was - Yeah! because this tight jeans are uncomfortable- However, I did not say it at loud. She always told me that if I wanted to impress a girl, I needed to dress better. More stylish and less baggy. I never really cared because the only girl I wanted to impress was her. She never knew that. I never told her. Somehow the me back then could not grow the balls to tell her that I was into her. That I have been into her since the first day I saw her back in 8th grade.

Kim always liked bad guys. Those who think they have life figured out and there is nothing else to do but live for the moment. Her first boyfriend got spelled from our highschool because he broke anther’s dude arm in a fight. They broke up a month later and there was I being the shoulder to cry motherfucker I always was to her. I remember when she lost her virginity. She told me like a week after it happened and I must say that a piece of me broke inside that day. I mean I was a 17 years old virgin listening to a 16 year old brunet and fit teenager tell me all about how she felt when that ideo Todd fucked her in the back of his Mustang.

Today, however, Kim is married to a blue collar guy. He is a nice guy but I do not know much about him. We barely talk nowadays. She works at the hospital and she barely has time for her old friends. Between family and her two boys she can barely sleep. Getting back to that virginity thing. I was virgin all highschool. I did not have many friends so no one teased me about it. I never told anyone either. I think Kim knew but she never ridiculed me. Not even when I lied and told her that I had sex with this Puerto Rican chick I met during the summer I spent in Ponce. I could tell she knew it was a lie. I just did not want to look like a pendejo.

So are you still a virgin? Johnny asked and took a sip of whatever was in his whiskey glass. Oh no I replied. At my age that would be a death sentence. I lost my virginity at a college party with this woman I cant even remember her name. After that I had one fail relationship after the other. Eventually I gave up and focused on my career. The truth is that all of those relationships failed because I kept looking for Kim in those women. I did not know I was doing it. That was the problem! It was always an unconscious thing. Kim did not go to the same school I went. She got an associates and got a job a nurse and that was it for her. I went to an engineering school since I was into math and electronics.

Anyway, listen. That saying that says “You miss all the shots you don’t take!” it is very true. I learn that the hard way. I am logging off now. I have a meeting in the morning. Ill catch you later pal.